Payback's an Itch
by i'd sink us to swim
Summary: What happens when the Marauders mess with Kris & Lily's best friend, Severus? Well, let's just say that payback's an itch. Read about how the Marauders get a taste of their own medicine. And this medicine isn't cherry flavored... ;P DISCONTINUED
1. There She Blows and There Her Friends Go

_**Author's Note: Sorry I forgot to post this note when I first uploaded this story. I'll try to be more efficient and such. Anyway. This is a new lovely story. It will be short. There will only be about four more chapters and they will be about this length. The story is well planned out in my head, so do not fear.**_

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><p><em>Every man has a sane spot somewhere. <em>

**_Robert Louis Stevenson_**

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><p>"Please?" Beggar.<p>

"No, James. Go find Moony or something..."

"Kris, we already asked Moony, da-"

"Sirius Orion Black, don't you dare finish that sentence. Gods, you have such a foul mouth!"

"Foul. Mouth. Huh. What makes it foul? Prongs, do I have bad breath? I thought I brushed my teeth... maybe it slipped my mind this morning?"

"Bloody he- hedgehogs! Ya, um... Bloody hedgehogs!" James fumbled. Sirius snickered. "I don't think I brushed my teeth either... Sh-er-oot! I was talking to Lily-flower all through lunch! Bludger!"

"Haha, smooth James," I laughed and James glared at me. This had the opposite effect than what he was probably hoping for, as it just made me laugh harder. Sirius gave a chuckle and tried to cover it as a cough when James turned his glare to him. "But, I'm sorry to say that I don't think you're breath can repulse Lils anymore than she already is..."

"Sure it can!" Suddenly I got a whiff of something horrid and turned to see James blowing across my face... "Ugh!"

"You- hah- stand - corrected," Sirius wheezed out, as he had now collapsed, laughing, onto the corridor floor upon seeing the look on my face. People passing by were giving us strange looks. Some first years looked terrified. They started whispering about going to see Madam Pomfrey, when I shot them a look, though, they yelped and scurried away.

"This is why I refuse to help you guys," I said pulling my robes up over my nose and mouth, so as to shield myself from James's horrid breath. "I don't need to spend any more time with you than I already do. I wouldn't be surprised if the beautiful juicy brain I entered Hogwarts with three years ago is now shriveled up like a prune and wheezing out its last pure thoughts in my head!" James and Sirius looked at me as if I'd grown a fourth head, but I plowed on. "I'm surprised that my brain is still somewhat intact! Any day now, I will wake up to find that I have the IQ or GPA or FCT or - or - well - whatever those muggles say - of a Marauder!" I was now gasping for breath at this point. "Maybe I'll go hang with Lily and Severus, where brains aren't reduced to mush - or - UGH!"

"Kris, Krissy, Kris," Sirius started, but in a desperate, child-like attempt to not listen to his argument, because his stupid Black-charm or whatever would just suck me in, I threw my hands over my ears and sang 'La-la-la.'

Sadly, with just a lazy wave of his wand, he had my hands tied behind my back and my legs tied together so I couldn't escape or take out my wand or cover my ears. With another wave and a shout of 'Silencio' he had silenced me as well so that I couldn't shout over him. I was forced to listen.

"You would ditch your best friends," I scoffed at that, but he ignored it, "for a slimy git like Snape?" James looked like I had just offered to let someone blow their nose into my hair, downright disgusted. My mouth tried to form words, but the charm Sirius had put on me was pretty good... for a kid with such a mushy brain.

I began to thrash and kick against my restraints. They were being very irritating today. Plus, James' comment about Severus really sent me on edge. I knew that they didn't like Snape, but then again, what they thought was about as important to me as it was to Lily. A little more caring than Severus, but that's only because James and Sirius sought Lily and I for different reasons than they did Sev.

The only reason they ever wanted Sev was when they wanted to make him miserable or the wanted to impress Lils and I. I guess Sirius thinks that by hexing my best friend he will somehow win my heart. Ya... I'm just sooo impressed... James has the same mindset whenever Lily comes around too. The arrogant gits. They think they're just sweeping us off our feet and that we're falling for them more and more every day. No way.

My anger boiled to the surface and seemed to break the silencing curse. I gave a shriek of frustration. The anger gave me just what I was hoping for... that little thing that is tied to your emotions... Magic. I blew them both back, so that they skid across the floor and hit their heads against the wall.

I gave them one last smug smile and with a small 'hmph' of indignation turned my back on them and hopped down the hall to find Sev or Lily to release me from my restraints.

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><p><em><strong>Review? <strong>_

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**_J.C. ;P_**


	2. In the Middle of a War Between Prides

_**Author's Note: The second chapter is up. Thank you, thank you. *takes a bow, curtsies, blows kisses to the screaming fans* Yes, *cough cough* anyway... I hope you like this chapter. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marauders', even though I put them down on my wish list to Santa, well other than Peter. Yuck. Dream over. J.K. Rowling will never let Santa Claus give them to me, so they will stay forever hers and her posterity's. Dang. **_

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><p><em>An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.<em>

**_Ghandi _**

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><p>I ended up having to hop all the way down the grand staircase to get to the floor with the library on it, which was where I found Severus.<p>

He looked up startled and drew his wand in defense when he heard my thumps. Seeing that it was just me, he placed his wand back in his robes and gave me a small smile.

For a minute I forgot all about my restraints and fell into thought about how few people got to see Severus smile. He looked so much more charming when he smiled. If people would just stop picking on him and gave him a chance...-

I shook myself, remembering what I came here for. I continued to make my way toward him, but as I did so I tripped over someone's bag and went falling toward the ground face-first. Severus gave a shout and grabbed me, just in time. As he held me, my face less than an inch from the floor, I looked up to see the corners of his mouth twitching as though he was trying to hold in a laugh.

"Hilarious," I huffed as he pulled me upright.

"Aw come on," he pleaded, looking into my eyes deeply with his own obsidian ones. It was mesmerizing. I turned away quickly before I could get too lost in them and instantly regretted it as he once again put up his carefully constructed walls.

"Anyway," I said. "Sirius and James lost the brain fight with Lils again it seems and they came to see if they could use mine, because it is so beautifully big and smart, but anyway, I refused to listen to their arguments because I always give in so easy and they tied me up and tried silencing me so I would listen, but I had one of those explosions and I removed the silencing charm and blew them into the wall and hopped here to get the restraints removed... so, please?"

"Well of course, since you asked so politely," he gave me a sly grin and with a wave of his wand I was free. I breathed a sigh of relief and plopped myself down in a chair across from where Sev had now returned to sitting. He stared at me intently. "What did they want help with this time?"

Severus's POV:

"Oh, you-you know just the-uh-usual p-prank?" It sounded more like a question than a statement. Why was she so reluctant to tell me what it was they needed help with? It couldn't possibly be their well-being, because she never cared about that before... She must be hiding whatever they had been up to because she was afraid of my reaction again.

I sighed. Giving her the most open look I could muster I said, "Just spit it out Krissy. I promise I won't attempt to strangle them without valid reason."

I could tell she was now battle with her emotions. Confusion, realization, fear, determination, indecisiveness, and then defeat all flitted across her face in a matter of seconds before she finally looked back up to meet my eyes.

"They are so lacking common sense that I have no clue how they pass their classes. McGonagall must a soft spot for them because of the time they spend together and don't even get me started on the other two Marauders, I mean Remus is just too smart to associate with them and Peter is- is ugh- the rat!"

"Kris, stop. Now. You're rambling. You're also avoiding the question."

"Fine, fine, fine. They wanted me to snatch your notebook from you when you weren't looking." She gave me a timid look. Almost as if I was a ticking time bomb, which she was afraid to blow.

I felt like I was ticking away too. I took a few deep, calming breaths and met her eyes. She hesitantly returned the stare and the liquid blue seemed to calm me. I leaned back into my seat and thought about how horrible it would be if Potter or Black got a hold of my notebook. Not only would they use my own spells against me and ridicule me, because of my pen-name 'Half-blood Prince', but who knows which spells they would use. Some of the spells in there should never be spoken aloud. I wouldn't even let Lily into my notebook. Kris was my closest confidant and the only who had ever laid eyes on the contents of my notes.

"How did you respond," I asked slowly and deliberately with a hint of fear that I accidentally let slip. She gave me a quick look of pity; one that I don't think she intended for me to see, but one that I did not miss all the same.

"I told them to shove off and go ask Moony," she explained. "I know it doesn't really make sense, but I was hoping they wouldn't catch on that Remus would have no way of getting to your notebook before they started persuading me. I did this as an attempt to distract them as I ran away, but it didn't work. Haha. They had already asked Remus, the stupid gits."

"They already asked Lily?"

"Yes. They had already gotten to every other alternative before they got to me."

"That's good. No one is able to help them. I'm safe."

"Naw. They may seem like complete delinquents, but they are actually pretty bloody smart. And I bet you my wand that Remus is calculating ways to get it from you right now and that guy is bloody smart."

"Great…"

"Mmhmm… I'd keep on your guard for the rest of the week, maybe the month. They are two determined baboons when they wanna be."

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>_

_**Review!**_

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_**;P Love, J.C.**_


	3. Moony's Plan & His Stupid Friends

**_Author's Note: Chapter 3. Thanks for coming back!_**

**_Disclaimer: I only own Kris and she's not even in this Chapter. That's it. J.K. Rowling owns more._**

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><p><em>If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.<em>  
><strong><em>J.K. Rowling<em>**

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><p>"PRONGS!" Sirius screamed, thumping down the boys' dormitory stairs.<p>

"What?" James yelled. Sirius had woken him from a light slumber on the common room couch. "Where's the fire?"

"Nowhere!" Sirius looked around confused for a minute before snapping his head back around, eyes trained on James. He stopped a couple feet behind the couch and said in a girly falsetto voice, "I have NEWS!"

James grumbled and rubbed his ear. "What, Pads?"

"Stop interrupting!" Sirius whined.

James shot him a glare that then softened into a mischievous look. Sirius was oblivious however, taking James's silence as an invitation to continue. Before Sirius could manage to get more than a couple words out though, James had pounced.

"Pron-" Sirius started but it was too late. James had leaped over the back of the couch at Sirius. His plan was  
>ruined however when his foot caught on the back of the couch and dragged it down with him. He landed on Sirius and they fell to the floor with a thud. The couch was not as quiet and fell with a loud crash.<p>

The sound caused a group of gossiping fourth year girls that were in the corner to scream.

"Prongs," Sirius whined. The look on Sirius's face caused James to bust out in loud guffaws of laughter. Sirius mouth cracked into a small smile and after a while he could no longer hold in his laughter either.

All laughter ceased though when they heard someone barreling down the girls' staircase. They both groaned and Sirius muttered 'bludger' as Lily Evans appeared within their view. When her eyes landed on the two Marauders and the couch, her face turned as red as her hair.

"Potter, Black. I don't even _want _to know. Detention, both of you," she said primly. The prefect turned, head held high, and marched right back up the stairs.

"Prongs…"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"_Move_."

"Oh, right, sorry."

James jumped up and then stuck a hand down in Sirius's face. Sirius took the hand and was pulled to his feet. The two boys then turned and lifted the couch back up. They sat down on it and James looked at Sirius expectantly. Sirius stared back with a dumb look. "What were you wanting to tell me?" James prompted.

"OH! Right," Sirius shouted in understanding. "Moony figured it out."

"Figured what out?"

"How to get-" Sirius looked around, spying for eavesdroppers. Sensing none he leaned in and lowered his voice, "_Snivellus's notebook!" _

"_**YES!**_" James screeched. The occupants of the common room turned to give him confused looks. He flashed a brilliant smile, causing the girls to swoon and the guys to scowl and look away.

"Really?" James continued on in a whisper, as if nothing had happened.

"Yes," Sirius said, nodding his rapidly like a child.

"What's the plan?"

"Oh, Prongs, we've been _so _stupid," Sirius said gravely.

"How so?"

"Remus's plan…" Sirius trailed off.

"Yes?"

"… is using the _Accio_ charm."

"The Summoning Spell?" James sure _felt_ stupid.

"Yeah," Sirius said bitterly.

They were silent for a few minutes.

"Oh, well… at least Moony's brilliant. When is the plan being enacted?" James said, breaking the moment.

"Tonight," Sirius said, grinning evilly.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks!<em>**

**_Please review!_**

**_J.C. ;P_**


	4. Weird Accomplice, Mission Accomplished

_**Author's Note: It has been so long. For anyone still reading I'm sorry. I just lost sight of the goal for a while. No one has reviewed. I'd appreciate it if you did. **_

_**Hehe. I'm listening to StarkidPotter AVPM songs as I write.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own no part of this but the plot and Kris.  
><strong>_

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><p><strong><em>Francis Bacon<br>_**

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><p>Sirius unfolded the wrinkled piece of parchment. He looked up to Remus and James, grinning in barely concealed anticipation and excitement. It was time. They were about to get their hands on Snivellus's most prized possession. They would soon have his notebook.<p>

Remus sighed in irritation and tapped his wand to the surface of the Marauders' Map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Lines and dots began drawing themselves out across the yellowing parchment.

"Here we go," James whispered, throwing the shimmering invisibility cloak over their heads. Peter was not with them, sleeping so heavily that they couldn't get him to stir. Not that they needed him.

They silently crept through the snoring portrait's hole. They tiptoed fairly noiselessly down to the dungeons coming to a stop in front of another painting, labeled as the Slytherin Common Room on the magical map. Above its picture was one word, which was what they assumed was the password. James uttered it aloud to test. "Serpentine."

The person on the canvas groaned and swung open without opening his eyes. This was lucky for the Marauders, who would have been denied access had he opened them on account of them being invisible.

They hadn't even walked through the portrait and Sirius had called, "ACCIO Snivellus's notebook."

Remus face-palmed. "Sirius, you twat!"

"What?" Sirius asked. James looked on innocently. They really didn't get it.

"The whole point of coming down here was to check and make sure Snivellus was asleep _before_ taking the notebook."

Both faces still looked bemused.

"WHAT IF HE WAS AWAKE?" Remus whisper-shouted.

Sirius looked properly scolded. "Sorry," he said as the notebook flew down the stairs.

"No time," James said, catching it. "Snivellus could come down at any moment."

"Right," Remus and Sirius agreed.

They all turned and slipped back out, notebook now in their possession and their mission accomplished.

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